6 Tips on How to Share Sexual Fantasies with Your Partner

For some, telling a partner about their sexual fantasies is harder than sharing bank cards and social network passwords. However, if approached correctly, this kind of openness will not alienate your partner, but on the contrary, it will lead to a deeper and more complete relationship.

According to Erika Lust, a Swedish erotic film director who promotes feminist porn, sharing your sexual fantasies in couples is imperative: Sharing your sexual fantasies is very important. Not just for happier relationships and better sex, but for a better understanding of your own sexuality. Discovering your fantasies and sexual preferences can be a pretty scary experience for many people, but these conversations can take your sex life to the next level and strengthen your bond and relationship with your partner.

How to share sexual thoughts and why it's worth it, even if you don't intend to make it a reality.

1. Acknowledge your fantasy self.

The first person to admit to an erotic fantasy is yourself. Maybe you don't think about them often enough, share them with your friends, or even think you're fantasizing about sex.

Keep in mind if there is a scene or scene in the movie that got you particularly excited. Pay attention to your thoughts during sex and what images pop up in your mind during the most pleasurable moments. Discuss your secret wishes with your partner, identify what those wishes are and how to achieve them.

2. Choose the right time to talk.

A lot depends on how open you are with your partner, the general mood and habits in the relationship. For some, it's perfectly acceptable to start dirty talk before or after sex. For one it's easier to relax with a drink at the bar, while others need a thorough conversation in the kitchen.

Whatever the situation, make sure you're both ready to have these conversations, where your partner is able to listen to you and tell you personally. Remember that such a conversation will not be a one-off, and you will return to this topic more than once.

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3. Understand that there is nothing wrong with fantasy.

Don't be ashamed of what excites you. This is just a fantasy and says nothing about a person's moral character. It doesn't matter what you imagine - how you masturbate in front of a million people, or how you get raped by a bunch of men. Just because any one of these inventions is just a figment of the imagination doesn't mean you want to experience it in reality.

To make dreams come true, it is not necessary to share fantasies. You can laugh at your crude thoughts with your boyfriend, feel a new level of intimacy and trust, and gain new experiences from the conversation itself.

4. Don't blame your partner for his/her sexual fantasies.

Want to be inspired - get ready to learn more about your partner. Remind yourself that this is just an invention and don't take your partner's imagination into account.

Sometimes people get weird stuff, otherwise where in the world is there such a wide variety of fetishes. Trying to humiliate a guy for having a sexual fantasy shows him that it's not good to be honest with you.

5. Look for a compromise.

The fact that in your fantasy it's just the two of you in different poses and locations, while in his it's a group of buxom young ladies, doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. Salvation can be compromised. Make it not as bright as it is in your head, but make a difference without offending anyone.

If you're not ready to invite strangers into the bedroom, you can live out your threesome dreams with the help of vibrators and other sex toys. If you say no to group sex and he/she likes it - watch group sex porn together.

None of you have to destroy yourselves for someone else's fantasy. But some painless concessions on your or his/her side will mean a lot to both of you.

Just sharing a fantasy with a partner is already an act.

6. Forget shame.

Not at all, but in this particular case. It’s hard not to shy away from the fantasy that sex is fine as long as it’s “normal” — that is, between two people of similar age and size — when we’re constantly propagating the idea that happened to me.

Shame is just a result of living in a society full of shame and stereotypes. The only framework for participation in sexual activity is the age of majority and the voluntary consent of all participants.